Parents and Teachers

Hello everyone,

I realize I should have written this earlier in the day, but the opportunity didn't arrive.

I always feel a bit schizophrenic because I am a teacher, but I'm also a parent, and I never think about it more than during parent teacher conferences. My children have all graduated from high school, but I still remember very well the anxiety that I felt when I went to parent nights at school. I knew that my kids were like their old man, and therefore more than a bit prone to the sorts of troubles rambunctious children might have. I also knew that they were mouthy (as was I) and likely had some weaknesses that I was blind to. It is always a bit of a shock to talk to someone else about your own child and find that your perceptions are not the same (they rarely are). My children were almost always better or worse in various classes than I thought they'd be.

As a teacher, I always felt anxiety meeting with parents. During the course of a career, every teacher meets parents that are hard to deal with. I have met my share of drunk, mentally ill, violent, abusive, angry, and interfering parents during my years of teaching. But I want to make it very clear: THE VAST MAJORITY OF PARENTS ARE LOVING, CARING INDIVIDUALS, WHO TRUST YOU AND WANT YOU TO DO THE BEST FOR THEIR CHILDREN. (I hope that's not the only thing you're reading in this email, but I wanted to put it into caps because it deserves emphasis.) Parents are your partners and the greatest disciplinary asset you have in the classroom.

Don't make the mistake of assuming that, if the student misbehaves it's because the parents haven't done a good job. Don't ever forget that adolescence is the age of making choices, testing boundaries, and some necessary rebellion. Don't argue or accuse.

Be honest with parents, but give them information in the same sort of language you would want to hear if you were hearing of your own children.

You will find a wonderful, direct link between a good relationship with parents and good performance from students. Cultivate that relationship and it will grow into good things.

Jeff Combe