Public Displays of Affection

Hello everyone,

Talking about students being out in the hall unsupervised brings up the issue of student public sexuality. There is an email that addresses this that I received, and it's worth having all of you see it an my responses. As usual, my comments are in CAPS.

Dear Mr. Combe:

Do Garfield High School students receive a handbook when they enter the 9th Grade?

YES, THEY DO. FEW ACTUALLY READ IT (ARE YOU SHOCKED TO LEARN THAT?). IT IS ACTUALLY UP TO US TO ENFORCE THE RULES AND HELP THEM UNDERSTAND. YOU ALL SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED A COPY OF THE "CLASSROOM CODE OF CONDUCT" AS WELL AS THE DRESS CODE. I ALWAYS KEPT THOSE POSTED IN MY CLASSROOM. ONE OF MY CLASS RULES WAS THAT STUDENTS WOULD BE REQUIRED TO OBEY SCHOOL-WIDE RULES. IT WAS A VERY HELPFUL MANAGEMENT TOOL. OCCASIONALLY, A STUDENT WOULD SAY, "I NEVER HEARD THAT [WAS AGAINST THE RULES}," AND I WOULD SHOW THE RULES POSTED AND REMIND THE STUDENT THAT THEY WERE GIVEN IN THE STUDENT HANDBOOK. THE ATTACHMENTS CONTAIN SCANNED COPIES OF THESE TWO DOCUMENTS. THE STUDENT HANDBOOK WAS NOT CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO ME (AND IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN PRACTICAL TO SCAN ANYWAY). STUDENTS HAVE BEEN GIVEN A COPY, HOWEVER.

Do a boy and girl who continuously roll around on the floor of the 700 Building (necking) constitute unacceptable behavior according to Garfield's rules?

YES, THE BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE.

Is there a set of rules in place at Garfield that addresses such behavior?

THE CODE OF CONDUCT DOES NOT ADDRESS PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION DIRECTLY. I SPOKE TO MR. CEDRIC WALLACE, ONE OF THE DEANS ABOUT IT. THE DEANS INSIST THAT STUDENTS REFRAIN FROM SUCH BEHAVIOR.

THE CODE OF CONDUCT IS MEANT TO ADDRESS CLASSROOM BEHAVIOR, MOSTLY. HOWEVER, RULE 8 ("STUDENTS WILL SHOW RESPECT TO ALL AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL AND TO OTHER STUDENTS") ADEQUATELY COVERS PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION. RULE 17 ("STUDENTS WILL NOT BEHAVE DISRUPTIVELY OR WILLFULLY DEFY OR DISRESPECT THE AUTHORITY OF THE TEACHER") COVERS YOUR INTERVENTION TO GET THEM TO STOP.

STUDENTS MAY BE SUSPENDED FOR CONTINUED DISRESPECT AND DEFIANCE OF VALID AUTHORITY, BUT THOSE WOULD APPLY ONLY TO THE MOST EXTREME SITUATIONS.

MOST OF US USE SOME FORM OF MILD EMBARRASSMENT TO GET THE TWO TO STOP. LATELY, I HAVE TAKEN TO SAYING, "CALM DOWN" WHEN I PASS A PASSIONATE COUPLE. I MAKE SURE THAT THEY HEAR IT. SOMETIMES JUST BEING AWARE THAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING IS ENOUGH FOR THE GIRL TO LOSE THE MOOD. (BOYS ARE ALWAYS IN THE MOOD, I SUSPECT.) I HAVE QUOTED "FIDDLER ON THE ROOF": "FROM SUCH CHILDREN COME OTHER CHILDREN." STUDENTS WHO UNDERSTOOD THE QUOTE COOLED OFF RAPIDLY. (FEW UNDERSTOOD.) I HAVE SAID, "TOO MUCH OF THAT IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU."

OF COURSE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT CROSSING INTO VULGARITY. (THAT'S PARTLY WHY I GAVE UP ON TRYING TO BE LITERARY WITH "FIDDLER," AND BECAME MORE DIRECT WITH "CALM DOWN.")

WITH MOST OF OUR STUDENTS, IT IS SUFFICIENT TO REMIND THEM THAT PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION ARE INAPPROPRIATE. SOME WILL ARGUE WITH YOU. IF THEY ARGUE ABOUT IT, SUGGEST THAT THEY ARGUE TO THE DEANS, WHO WILL CALL THEIR PARENTS AND TELL THEIR PARENTS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING. (SOME OF THE DEANS USE THAT TACTIC.) THAT USUALLY WORKS.

MOSTLY, THE RULES THAT GOVERN THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR ARE THOSE THAT WOULD GOVERN IT IN MOST FORMAL OR SEMI-FORMAL PUBLIC GATHERINGS.

--It is fairly vulgar, even holding consideration for the fact that they are teenagers and that their hormones are probably racing in all different directions.

I AGREE.

I SUSPECT THAT MANY OF THE STUDENTS THINK THAT THEY LOOK LIKE A PAIR OF MOVIE STARS, AND THEY DON'T REALIZE HOW AWKWARD AND INARTISTIC THEY REALLY LOOK. THEY HAVE TO LEARN, JUST AS ALL OF US HAD TO, THAT THERE ARE TIMES AND PLACES FOR CERTAIN BEHAVIORS, AND SCHOOL IS NOT AMONG THEM.

I know that behavior such as this is not the norm; however, is it considered rule breaking at Garfield?

IT IS CONSIDERED RULE BREAKING.

I OUGHT TO ADDRESS A FEW MORE SERIOUS PROBLEMS RELATED TO THIS.

YOU SHOULD AVOID LEAVING STUDENTS ALONE IS SUCH TIMES AND PLACES THAT THEY MIGHT BE LIKELY TO FALL TO SEXUAL TEMPTATIONS. MAKE SURE THAT, UNDER YOUR SUPERVISION, THEY ARE PROPERLY CHAPERONED. (DO WE NEED TO GO INTO ALL THE LIABILITY IMPLICATIONS ARISING FROM YOUR FAILURE TO PROPERLY CHAPERON?) STUDENTS ALONE IN PAIRS ARE MUCH MORE LIKELY TO GET INTO TROUBLE THAN STUDENTS IN GROUPS OF THREE OR MORE, ESPECIALLY WHEN ONE OF THE OTHERS IS A REAL MOOD-BREAKER.

SOMETIMES YOU WILL SEE SITUATIONS IN WHICH ONE OF THE PARTY IS PRESSING FOR A KISS, AND THE OTHER PARTY IS RESISTING. (USUALLY IF NOT ALWAYS A BOY WHO WANTS A KISS AND THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T WANT TO GIVE ONE.) TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, THIS IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT. PERSONALLY, I THINK IT'S AN IMPORTANT TEACHING MOMENT. THE BOY NEEDS TO KNOW THAT, WHETHER OR NOT HE AND HIS FRIEND ARE IN A CLINCH, "NO" MEANS "NO," AND PRESSING FOR A "YES" AFTER "NO" CONSTITUTES SEXUAL HARASSMENT, AND IT OUGHT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. (NEITHER OF THE TWO PROBABLY WILL, BUT IT'S AN IMPORTANT THING FOR BOTH OF THEM TO LEARN.) SINCE IT IS A MORE SERIOUS OFFENSE (THE LOWER END OF SERIOUS, I KNOW, BUT SERIOUS ANYWAY), THERE CAN BE NO ARGUMENT ABOUT YOUR ASKING THE BOY TO LET THE GIRL GO AND INSURING THAT THEY STAY APART. FAILURE TO DO SO CAN LEAD TO SOME SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES FOR THE BOY.

INCREASINGLY YOU WILL ENCOUNTER HOMOSEXUAL DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION. I THINK IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THEY BE TREATED EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU WOULD TREAT HETEROSEXUAL COUPLES. BE NEITHER MORE NOR LESS SEVERE TO THEM.

RARELY, YOU MIGHT ENCOUNTER MORE EXPLICIT SEXUALITY. YOU MUST TREAT THAT WITH THE UTMOST SERIOUSNESS. WHILE YOU WILL BE EMBARRASSED TO REPORT IT, YOU SHOULD. ONCE AGAIN, THE LIABILITY ISSUES ARE TOO GREAT FOR YOU TO IGNORE IT.

I HAD AN ENGLISH TEACHER WHO JOKED, "EVERY GENERATION OF TEENAGERS THINK THAT IT'S THE FIRST TO DISCOVER SEX." AIN'T IT THE TRUTH?

JEFF COMBE